i don't know what's wrong with me

but this shit has got to stop.

i've never been one to drink

even when i did drink it brought nothing but vomit and an odd reaction to my meds where i would wake up not knowing where i was or how i reached that destination.
it brought nothing but odd memories that i will never for get and ones i wish i could.
true story.
yet tonight i drink and i raise my blue plastic cup filled with vodka and some sort of dell juice mixture to memories old and new mine and whoevers and to my fears of what is yet to come cause even in this drunken state i can't help but to be pesimistic.